This was me today, standing with my dogs at a crosswalk on 24th, waiting for the “WALK” sign, and listening for what might be the eighth, ninth, or eleventh time since June to an audiobook version of The Sun Also Rises. The novel has become more impressive to me with each listen. Just thrillingly so. More than I will try to express in a post that I aim to keep short.
What’s crushing, though — and what made me mutter the words “just a total doormat” for only a Lab mutt and a deaf spaniel to hear — is that I keep spotting details in the novel that diminish Jake, the narrator. Even in a single attentive reading, you probably can’t fail to notice Jake’s drinking or his “all of a sudden I started to cry” one restless night in bed. But he is in Paris and in Pamplona and in Burguete, and he’s in the company of people who are drunker than him and people who are more conspicuously heartsick than him, so Jake’s narration has a way of distracting from the rough truth that Jake is the story’s most abject character.
He’s the Catholic who says nothing and does nothing when his pissed-off friend tells a Catholic priest on a train that Catholic pilgrims monopolizing the tables in the dining car is “enough to make a man join the Klan.” He’s the bullfight purist with so much “aficion” that he shields a bullfighting prodigy from being ruined by a night of wining and dining with the American ambassador, but he abets the fickle lust of the woman he himself loves and gives her all the help she needs to seduce the very same bullfighting prodigy. Jake loiters so innocuously, so amiably around this woman he loves that her fiancé asks for Jake’s help in getting rid of another discarded suitor who keeps wrecking the mood by having the minimal dignity to pine openly and pick fights.
Short. A short post. That’s the goal. I’ll stop. I’ll stop this post. Maybe I should stop with this novel, too. It’s suddenly leaving me sad in ways that don’t get erased by the funny scenes.